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  1. I found this website when I googled “how to tell if my milk is drying up”. I have a 9 month old daughter whom is breastfed only. I read a story on your website that was quite disturbing. It is a scientifically proven fact that breastmilk is hands down, better for babies than formula. Moms can come up with any excuse why they don’t or won’t nurse. But it all comes down to selfishness. Nipples bleeding, mastisitis, drying up, etc. It’s all excuses. Why would one promote formula feeding knowing it doesn’t compare to the nutrition in breastmilk? I don’t get it. It seems like this website is a bunch of moms trying to justify themselves for not nursing because they feel guilty, as they should. If a mom isn’t willing to do the best possible thing for her baby, then why even have a baby. It’s really sad because there are so many women who would love to have a baby that they could nurse and nourish, but its not possible for them to have children. Then there is women telling stories on here that won’t even give their newborn baby colostrum??? So selfish and sickening. Poor little babies.

    • Come off it! Yes breastmilk overall is better than formula but not so much so that it justifies anything you’ve said. Read the actual studies. You will see that each and everyone of them disclaim that causation for the “benefits” has not been proven by the study, and often results are weak, inconsistent, further attenuated (and often disappear) when confounders are appropriately adjusted for. I’m not going to go into this any further because it’s been discussed extensively in previous posts and comments, which you would know if you bothered to read. When I have a baby, NO, I am NOT willing to give them the “best” when the best only provides marginal advantages and requires a disproportionate amount of the parenting responsibilities to fall on my shoulders. My husband wants children way more than I do, so why should I have to do more than my fair share of the work? Sam said it perfectly-breastfeed if you want but leave other moms alone! Particulary ones who are looking for a safe place such as this when they’ve often experienced devastating breastfeeding failure and disappointment made worse by nasty comments and judgement from people like you.

    • Andrea, as a woman who was physically unable to breastfeed, I am offended by your implication that it was “just an excuse” and “selfishness” on my part. And there is no need to pity my formula-fed babies. They are very healthy and happy.

      And, for the record, this site is not meant to “promote” formula feeding, it’s meant to support women who formula feed, whatever the reason, and help them respond with logic and reason to the condmenation spewed by people such as yourself.

    • I’m really offended by your post!!!! It made me cry because your just another mother that can breast feed so therefore everyone else can and those that can’t must be making it up.

      I have a deformed nipple ( no for the record it’s not inverted I have had extensive specialists confirm this) I knew there was a possibility it would result in not being able to breast feed. After 12 hrs of labour I was rushed into an emergency c-section and my son was rushed off to neonatal I had not even held him. I was so sick I was sedated that whole night and did not get to see him until late the next day. I initially was going to attempt to breast feed from my one good nipple and do top up feeds but unfortunately my milk never came in due to all the drugs they gave me snd the trauma i went theough, I never even got any colostrum. Even though I couldn’t breast feed whilst the midwives understood and didn’t judge they also didn’t help or guide me. I was totally unprepared my anti natal classes did not prepare me for this at all. I asked a midwife to recommend formula her reply ” oh I don’t believe in that so I can’t help you” even though she knew I had no choice. 5% of woman can not physically breast feed, you may think this is a low number but if you look at statistics woman not being able to breast feed is a higher statistic then SIDS, down syndrome, some forms of cancer etc

      I’m glad you can bread feed that’s great congratulations, I wanted to breast feed to unfortunately it was taken away from me, I had no ABA to help me just dirty looks from other mothers like your self when I get my formula and bottle out in public. But you know what my son is thriving, he is happy, growing and advanced for his age. I have never judged another mother to be called selfish and be told that I’m making an excuse!!!! Attempt when nothing comes out and let him starve?!?!

      This website is great I 100% agree with it and it’s about time those woman that formula feed for what ever reason wether they can’t or they just don’t want to, have a united voice. Why can’t we just be given the same teachings, understanding and support.

    • Why do you feel the need to be so closed minded and make general statements. You have no right to tell anyone else that we are being selfish if we choose not to breast feed. They are not your children and you do not have to deal with any of the “consequences” of formula feeding our babies.
      You are not better than me because you supposedly want what is “best” for your baby, all while implying that I do not.
      DO NOT make general statements that you know nothing about. If I don’t want to breastfeed then that is my choice as a mother, just as much as it is your choice to breastfeed.
      If you took a second to read more of what this blog promotes, then you would have understood that it promotes what is best for each individual family. So get off your soap box and actually do some research before you start talking next time!

    • Not all “excuses” that “moms come up with” is selfish (and I’ll overlook the irony of how selfish a comment like that is). My partner was physically mutilated by an abuser as a child; one breast is maimed (he cut a chunk of the areola and underlying tissue out, damaging the ducts) and the other has had multiple abscesses that have left it covered in puckering, leathery scars. The amount of scar tissue below the surface (left from the abscesses), makes it “medically unlikely” that any milk that is produced will be able to be expelled through the internal scar tissue.

      Your decision to see our bottlefeeding as a “selfish excuse” is nothing more that pure judgement based on ignorance. Just because you see a woman with breasts using a bottle to feed her child doesn’t mean she is selfish or wrong in any way, and my partner should not have to divulge her sexually abusive past to squelch damaging judgements by those who have had more fortunate histories.

      How can you talk about nurturing and caring for “poor little babies” out of one side of your mouth, and use the other to belittle and insult out the other? I hope only your breastmilk, and none of your hate, as been shared with your children. Otherwise, they are the “poor babies.”

  2. Women like you drive me up the wall. If you want to breast feed then great, I’m sure you will still be doing it when your child is at secondary school and good on you. But who on earth do you think you are preaching to every other mum out there? If you don’t like bottle feeders then a) keep your opinions to yourself, and b) what are you doing looking at websites like this?

  3. I just feel sorry for Andrea, it must be tiring up on your box looking down at other women who aren’t worthy to have babies as we choose / or have no choice to not breastfeed. Women who are so quick to judge and even worse, preach their ignorance to other women have no idea the damage they do to others. Being a mom these days is hard enough isn’t it? Wouldn’t it just be so wonderful if we could just all support and encourage each other? How awesome that would be…… (sigh)

    What a great way to teach our kids to live… encouraging and supportive vs. close minded and judgmental.

  4. I normally do not respond to such women that are fortunate enough to breastfeed but look at me, a mom that tried desperately to breastfeed both of my babies and couldn’t, in disgust!

    My fisrt pregnancy I tries to breastfeed my baby and I had to supliment! I was only getting 40 ml after pumping and nursing hours on end! Finally I came to the realization. “This isn’t working!” I actually grieved because I was so devistated that I couldn’t breastfeed my baby!

    My second baby, I though I had a hard time nursing my fisrt but I was optimistic and just knew that my experience would be different. It wasn’t and yet again I say holding my baby wondering why I can’t do something that is suupose to be the best for my baby and “natural.”

    It wasn’t natural for me, I gave it all the effort in the world and if I had blindly continued breastfeeding, even though I was only getting 40ml, I would have been guilty of starving my babies!

    While agree that breastmilk is best for babies, I don’t agree with anything else you have stated! Some moms put everything into breastfeeding their babies and just can’t so save the judging for Gid and tend to your family and I’ll tend to mine!

  5. Andrea: I was in the hospital 4 days after an unplanned c-section & was producing very little milk. The lactation consultant sent me home on day 4 with with one of those systems where you tape clear tubes to your breasts and feed the baby formula so he doesn’t develop nipple confusion. Full-term otherwise healthy Baby was not producing any wet or dirty diapers. I never became engorged & could pump endlessly & produce only tiny amounts of milk. Baby began producing brick dust urine & nurse had us giving him formula from a shot glass. Baby was losing too much weight. Even lactation consultant gave up & said “we have to feed the baby. 13 years later: baby is top-of-his-class, physically healthy, socially very well adjusted boy very attached to both parents & with a kickin’ immune system. My regret: not throwing that bottle/tube/tape contraption at the l.c. & going to a bottle & formula much earlier. Oh, hey, I’m a phi beta kappa & have the Midwestern work ethic in spades.

  6. I was unable to breastfeed due to my daughters horrible latch, not one of the three lactation consultants I saw could get her to latch properly which resulted in her not getting enough milk and loosing to much weight. My pediatrician and lactation consultants all told me that eventually I had to do what was best for my baby which was to FEED her so we switched to pumped breast milk in bottles and that worked…for a while. Then my supply started to decrease and I was told that some women are not able to pump, I was one of them. We put her on formula and she did fine but I was so devastated about it. I wanted more then anything to breastfeed it was my dream and I was so concerned about my daughters health, I mean I was always told breast is beast (I am not in anyway saying that I disagree with that). However my mother helped me come to terms it is by telling me that out of me and my sister one of us was breastfed and one wasn’t, and then asking me to pick out which one of us had had the formula and which one had had the bottle. Well since I have Diabetes, food allergies, seasonal allergies, weight problems and a variety of other health problems while my sister who was born at 27 weeks has not health issues to date and other then what you would normally expect from a premature baby had no sever health issues as a baby, I naturally said my sister had been breastfed and I had been formula fed. WRONG! My mother exclusively breastfed me and my sister was given a high calorie formula from day one to help her gain weight. My cousin who also breastfed her two told me to go into a store and pick out all the people who where breastfed and the ones who where formula fed. Her point was that you can’t that while breast is best it is not the only way and formula does not doom your child to a life of misery. So Andrea if you where a true advocate and not a fanatical idiot you would be able to support those who truly can’t rather then attacking them and adding to the guilt they feel already

    Also some food for thought, women not being able to breastfeed is nothing new it has been happening since the beginning of time. long ago you would give you baby to a lactating friend or family member because there was no other option, its called a wet nurse. However that is just not the case today, Donor milk is expensive and I am not going to let some one feed my child when 1) I have no idea what they are putting in their bodies and passing onto my child 2) I can have the bonding experience of feeding by using a bottle.

  7. Please have some compassion in your heart for women who battled through tears, sleep depravation, and intense physical pain only to find that they could not provide the supply that their child needed. Whether it’s a medical condition, or the need to cease ’round the clock’ pumping in order to care for other children…..some women just can’t breastfeed. We need to support each other and encourage each other to be present for and love our babies because that’s what really makes a difference. I have a beautiful formula fed 15 month old who’s smile is just as bright as his breast fed cousins. I was formula fed myself, and the quality of my life isn’t any less than that of my breast fed sisters. I love that you breastfeed because your feeding your baby and I love that I formula feed because I’m feeding mine.

  8. We shouldn’t feel the need to defend ourselves or your actions to an ignorant fool. What a waste of time and energy. Especially to pick on other mothers who are trying their best for their children. It must have something to do with your own self worth or lack there of….. Its really sad to see women verbally abuse other women. As if there isn’t enough negativity out there, we continue to do it to each other. I feel sorry for you and your kids if you have such an angry and mean spirit. Just sad….

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