My parents are in town, so we have free babysitting. Which meant movie night for me and Fearless Husband. We chose to see “Young Adult”, thinking that it would be light and funny; 90 minutes later we were about to poke our eyes out with hot coals, since that would have been less painful. Or at least less emotionally draining. Great acting, but one hell of a downer.
The film got me thinking on a myriad of levels, and one particular element of the script provoked me to come home and visit the blog (much to Fearless Husband’s chagrin, but what can you do… date night or not, I haven’t spent quality time with FFF in quite awhile. Sometimes it feels like I am in a polygamous relationship, I tell ya). Charlize Theron’s character, Mavis Gary, is unlikeable in about one thousand different ways, but you end up feeling sorry for her because she is completely delusional. At the same time, Mavis feels just as sorry for everyone else around her, because she thinks they are ignorant, small-minded simpletons. It’s a weird dynamic to experience as the moviegoer, because you aren’t sure who to identify with: if you empathize with Mavis you’re a cold-hearted egomaniac; relating to the rest of the cast makes you feel like kind of a loser. In the end, you realize that it is all a matter of perception. You can be the hero in your own story, but to everyone else you might be the villain, or even worse, just an ancillary character.
So how does this pertain to our little infant feeding blogosphere? I think the flawed communication and general lack of empathy on the part of many involved on both sides of this debate comes from a similar egotistical P.O.V. as Charlize’s unlikeable character. Perceptions are vague and/or downright incorrect, colored by our own experiences, our own realities. I know full well that some see this blog, and all other formula feeding support, as something vicious; others, as something that should be pitied or handled with kid gloves. And on our end, it’s easy to dismiss all breastfeeding advocates as intentionally obtuse; privileged; limited in scope.
There are many gray areas to this debate, and I think that my New Years Resolution is going to be that I will strive to give that gray some much-needed color. That means more bottle-feeding research rather than simply tearing down breastfeeding studies. (Although this will be hard to do, when studies like this one pop up. Completely aside from breastfeeding, I simply cannot fathom how such a clumsy study has gotten both funding and media attention. I don’t think I need to explain the ridiculousness of what the researchers did here, but if anyone wants to discuss it we can do so on Facebook. Suffice to say – where the hell was the control group of non-exclusively breastfeeding kids who DIDN’T chug sugary drinks? And what’s with the dig about juice? How many leaps did it take to get to the conclusion that this proves anything about the link between breastfeeding and long-term obesity?…Aw, crap. Why do my resolutions never last longer than my neighbor’s Christmas tree?) More attempts to reach out to experts and pick their brains about specific subjects. More support for combo feeders.
Of course, this all can only happen if I get off my ever-growing butt and focus on the blog a little more. Considering I’m only now writing a New Year’s resolution post and it’s a few minutes before January 8th, maybe that should be resolution #1.
About the Author:
Suzanne Barston is a blogger and author of BOTTLED UP. Fearless Formula Feeder is a blog – and community – dedicated to infant feeding choice, and committed to providing non-judgmental support for all new parents. It exists to protect women from misleading or misrepresented “facts”; essentialist ideals about what mothers should think, feel, or do; government and health authorities who form policy statements based on ambivalent research; and the insidious beast known as Internetus Trolliamus, Mommy Blog Varietal.
Suzanne Barston – who has written 428 posts on Fearless Formula Feeder.
Please don't stop tearing down all the studies though. Pointing out the flaws of some of this logic means that a mom who feels like her baby will be stupid, fat, and sick with a myriad of diseases can find someone who has links and an intelligent voice interpreting it. By all means we need more info on how to formula feed (the other day I was having to tell a mom so many basic formula feeding things to help her with the colic her baby was experiencing I wanted to hit my head on a wall that she wasn't told ANY of this stuff before and was just going from formula to formula hoping for any relief.) I'd still like to see more behavioral information (studies on eye contact and touch for instance, and how formula feeding can incorporate behaviors that benefit the baby as much as the forced breastfeeding behaviors.)
Oh. And my 1 year old puts in a bid for more clementine oranges. He's addicted and needs more. At least one per hand and one shoved in the mouth.
Courage, don't you worry. I don't think I could stop picking apart studies even if I tried. I guess I meant that in addition to focusing on why formula feeding won't harm your child, I'd also write about how to not harm your child while formula feeding.
“Alison Ventura, a professor of nutrition sciences at Drexel University in Pennsylvania, said the new findings are important because they show that the benefits of breastfeeding last beyond the time when the feeding stops.”
OR these findings could be demonstrating EXACTLY what Joan Wolf talked about in her book (which sadly I have not yet read but it's on my list!). If I read the article correctly, consuming little or no sugary drinks had a more dramatic risk reduction effect than breastfeeding alone on kids chances of being overweight (70% vs. 55%). So is it really that much of a stretch to speculate that those moms who made the choice to breastfeed (for any amount of time/degree of exclusivity) are also less likely to allow their children to overindulge in sugary drinks/introduce sugary drinks too soon? The article wasn't clear but it seemed to be suggesting that the breastfed kids group and non-sugary drink consuming groups were considered separately. I bet if you looked at the non-sugary drink group, you would find on average more partially and exclusively breastfed kids in that group. I would be interested in having that clarified by the study's authors.
I have to agree with FFF that the quote above is a HUGE stretch on what this study is saying and the obvious ommission being the control group of partially bf'd kids with no sugary drink consumption.
Also, not really seeing what's wrong with juice. I know of a few moms that started giving juice in a bottle at 6 months (pediatrician's advice), but made sure it was the all natural 100% juice type (not the 10% juice, 90% sugar/other crap variety) and also watered it down. I think choices/methods like that go just as far (if not further) in preventing childhood obesity and promoting good eating habits than breastfeeding vs. formula. I'm obviously not convinced that breastfeeding/milk has a protective effect, but for arguments sake let's say it does. It's SMALL and there are other things you can do to ensure your child's health. When will this crap stop???
Amen.
As far as juice goes I just avoid it all together. Why? Sugar is sugar is sugar. Fructose is metabolized the same way as any other sugar. Yeah you get a few more vitamins than you would from soda but not nearly as many other things as you would get from a glass of milk (lactose is a sugar too) so milk and water are what my kids drink on a regular basis and things like juice and soda are given sparingly. I would do that if I breastfed or not (which I don't).
I just can't believe how much benefit is given to breastfeeding when a lot of the bad supposed side effects of formula really is just questionable parenting. If you give your kid excessive amounts of breastmilk you could make your kid fat too. Anything in excess is bad for you. If a breastfed kid grows up to be a couch potato they are going to be just as fat as the formula fed couch potato.
My 11 year old is the same. I've gotten to the point where I hide half the clementines in the cupboard after I buy them, so that at least there will be some left for other family members the next day.
BTW, there seems to be a broken link under you paragraph about breastfeeding advocates.
Yup, the omission of that control group jumped right out at me too. It felt to me like they were trying to compare apples with oranges (or should that be apple juice with orange juice.) Maybe someone should contact them and ask them about it. There might be a good reason, or there might not.
FFF – Love your blog, thank you for being a tireless 'factivist' and standing up for a woman's right to make informed decisions about feeding choices.
Aw, thanks!